I am going to step outside of my normal posts (all two of them!) and share something I found today. This is piece I wrote in 2008. With all of the self-discovery I have been doing lately, this resonated deeply within my soul, even nine years later. I do believe that at times our true selves or souls are hidden deep beneath all of the toil, pain and confusion of this world. I guess even nine years ago, I knew my true self was complicated and was known to be but a fleeting image. Please meet the Goddess Within:
In a haze of dewy cloudiness, I see her. I watch as she floats effortlessly through the air. Her short, curly black hair beckons me to take in the sweet smells of lavender and vanilla that intertwine themselves around each soft tendril. The creaminess of her soft, pale skin sends tiny vibrations through my fingertips even though I am afraid to reach out and touch her. Her full lips open to a smile that is so deceiving, but appetizing at the same time. I allow my gaze to become transfixed in the icy blue waters that lie in the depths of her eyes.
As I gaze upon her beauty I see deep into her soul. I see that she loves passionately and forgives willingly. She sins frequently, but prays constantly. She dances in the dark and hides in the sunlight. She is eager to please, but independent and confident. She is strong when at her weakest and her weakness bring her strength. She feels each emotion with a raw sense of understanding. She holds within her a laughter that starts at her toes and flows from her ever soft lips. Her icy blue eyes drip with tears of sadness held within her soul. Her comprehension and understanding are that of a woman far beyond her years. She is a mother, a sister, a daughter and a friend.
Her image starts to fade before me. As she slowly leaves me I try to touch the tender skin that calls for me and the tiniest tendril that falls above her eyes. As my arms are reaching for her farther and farther, she disappears. I search for her, but she is gone. Before me is a mirror, I gaze upon my face which holds no resemblance to hers. Yet, in my eyes I see the blue. My skin appears soft and supple. My hair curls and turns the shade of charcoal. My soul bears itself to me and I see the love, the sins, the weakness and the strength of her. Who was she? Why was she before me? I beckon her to return. I see her for one short moment. She mingles with my hair, my skin, my eyes and my soul. She is the Goddess within me. She is the Goddess of my soul.